i almost did it. i almost sent that text. i almost drafted another email. i need to know how you are. i need to hear your voice, something that sounds familiar besides the one i play over and over from the voicemail you sent two years ago. i need to remember you. i stumbled upon some text posts. i don’t know how i did but i did. written by someone who could have been you, missing someone, falling in love with another…it torn me apart because i knew there was no way it could be you. everyone keeps saying you’ve moved on. traveling now. this is torture. i loved you with everything within me. i still do. and now i’m better. i’ll listen. i’ve learned. teach me. i won’t argue. i won’t fight. i just want you. i want our future. i can’t pray the love away anymore. god won’t allow me to forget you. no matter how many times i beg to. i miss you. i want you to tell me everything: where have you been? who have you met? are you still eating when you’re hungry? i swear almost did it. i almost broke down again. was this the sign? call me. or even text me. please. it’s been one year, sixty-three days, twenty-two hours, three mins…but who’s counting. i’m ready.

i forgive you

This was all you, none of it me
You put your hands on, on my body and told me
You told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I’d be your last love everlasting, you and me
That was what you told me
I was running, you were walking
You couldn’t keep up, you were falling down
I’m giving you up
I’ve forgiven it all
You set me free

Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain’t kids no more

i love you