Lemonde

I tried to make a home outta you.
But doors lead to trapdoors. A stairway leads to nothing.
I tried to change, closed my mouth more.
Tried to be soft, prettier.
Less…awake.
Slowly did not speak another word.
I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God.
If this what you truly want, I can wear her skin…over mine.
Her hair, over mine.
Her hands as gloves.
Her teeth as confetti.
Her scalp, a cap. Her sternum, my bedazzled cane.
We can pose for a photograph. All three of us, immortalized.
You and your perfect girl.
I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know is no one I know has it.
Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me?
Everyone else can.
So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?

Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted, most bomb pussy, who because of me, sleep evaded. Her shroud is loneliness.

Her God is listening. Her heaven would be a love without betrayal.
Ashes to ashes…dust to side chicks.
She sleeps all day…dreams of you in both worlds.

One Life

I want to dream what you dream, go where you’re going. I only have one life and I only want to live it with you. I want to sleep where you sleep, connect with your soul. The only thing I want in life, and I only want to live it with you.

Never Be Like You

Choose me, pick me,” she yelled, frantically. Her eyes beginning to mist, but with everything she could muster, she held them in refusing to show any winch of emotion. “Don’t you dare give up on us, not now! Not ever! You promised, you made that promise!” She stepped back from the mirror, patted her hair, straighten her dress and walked chin up. Never turning back. 

18

I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because ‘romantic’ doesn’t mean ‘sugary.’ It’s dark and tormented — the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can’t attain.

Jealous

I’m jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It’s closer than my hands have been
I’m jealous of the rain
I’m jealous of the wind
That ripple through your clothes
It’s closer than your shadow
Oh, I’m jealous of the wind, cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

I’m jealous of the nights
That I don’t spend with you
I’m wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I’m jealous of the nights
I’m jealous of the love
Love that wasn’t here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I’m jealous of the love, cause

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me