Made in You a New

Exhort yourself and form a new you.
A new flesh, a new being.
She said her skin felt dirty, smudged with sorrows and filled with gloomy memories.
Her dreams told of her past and her pain forced her into a better future.
She wasn’t ready to “grow up”.
Her daddy called her Princess and her mom held her as she cried.
“I’m fighting for a life to live, I refuse to just be black and die!”
Did I forget to mention she lost her name?
Her identity, her understanding of who she was and where she belonged.
She was a suspect in society, wrongfully condemned because of opposition.
She was sin.
She was all uncleanness from within.
She was poison but the cure stood right beside her, as death trailed also around her.
She was a lost soul.
But as she cried out, one last time, a voice called after her…
“It’s not over my child. Get up.
I am your Strength.
You are beautiful.
You are powerful.
You are whole.
You are generous.
You are confident.
You are blessed.
You are unstoppable.
You are determined.
You are blessed.
You are many wonderful things.
Above all you are a masterpiece of me, God.
Trust in me, for I have never left you.”

Assez

The sad thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn’t even know it…but maybe I do expect too much.

I value people’s views concerning me. Simply, I cherish to the entire capacity, each individual connection built with the people that surround me.

I’m known to wear my confidence boldly on my sleeves; yet, somehow still fall short of my own standards, contradicting myself by feeling so insecure. My mom always told me: be mindful of how you carry yourself, it is the biggest impression you can ever-present to someone. Sure mom but is it sad to say I regularly feel as if I fail people in numerous ways; that most days I feel inadequate or unacceptable? 

Someone said to me today, “why isn’t anything good enough for you?” Stunned and taken aback by the revelation of ever having a need to identify things as “enough”, I grinned amused by this person’s assumptions of my standards.

I coexist inside the mind that is possessed by this body but through her eyes, I do not see. With her limbs, I can not feel. I exist only where there are trees. I live in clouds above the seas. A little less hate, it’s love she needs. Please don’t leave, come and stay, she pleads. Her mind is dark, blood drips down her sleeves. I do not exist, I can not feel her needs. To her, darkness is bliss, inside she bleeds. So what is enough, when love misleads.

Enough of what really? Things aren’t consistent enough, to maintain a healthy balance. Am I the only one who enjoys having a comfortable pattern, but life itself isn’t made to be that way. I understand. Momma also said: when everyone in your life is at peace, things flow easier.

I’m sorry.

Tell me, is wanting to enclose your heart in the walls of my love, where you will never walk alone, enough?

Being Good to Yourself

When was it okay to self destruct in the middle of a revolution?

Isn’t it better to keep pushing, keep fighting and aiming for the better part of the battle rather than slump and waddle in our own misery?

Fine, I agree, we all need a moment to suppress it all BUT pick your chin up, stick that ass out and stride like the Queen you are. We don’t need Kings, they need US.

Keep in mind that every curve we possess, are what they watch (like dogs) to sway and walk their way. We rule this world. It is the age of the WOMEN. Take this ship over and lets get ice cream.

When was it okay to miss what we never had?

Hope for what we’ll never receive?

Make this vow to yourself, you can do better and WILL be better.

Now shake that shit off and throw them the hell off.

Insane Love

I’m a little nuts,
but he loves me.
When I fuss, and may slip, and cuss,
he still loves me.
When I cry till my eyes puff and dry,
he wraps me in his arms and smiles,
whispering that he loves me.
I can’t see his face but as his child I am graced,.
My God.
My King.
Oh, my daddy loves me.

Consumption

I’ve lied.
My routine has shifted and your eyes have strayed.
Your skin pale, fickle and dry; needing my touch.
I kiss the tip of your nose, snuggling into the crook of your neck.
Promises.
Lies.
You pull away, the consuming heat smoothing you.
With a sigh, I twirl a strand of my hair, watching you.
The dawn is near.
The moon and stars have been called away.
You’re still here.
Even through the pain – it’s become a part of you.

Grammaration

Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV)

6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Fine!

Here’s the perfect work around, it’s all about how you word things with parents.

My mother’s first response is to call me ‘rude’ if I ever were to phrase an answer in over-analytical terminology. Which give her cause to perceive me as being slick and want to slap my face.

Ouch.

Here’s a perfect example:

“Did you clean your room?”

“Yes, ma. However, the closet of which my clothes lie is unfortunately dysfunctional therefore has lead me to create an army of colors in the right corner of my floor.”

“Are you being smart, little girl?”

“No, ma. I’m just telling you what happened!”

—-

If I were to say:

“It’s clean, I just have to organize the clothes of the floor.”

Her response would still be, “Are you being smart, little girl?” With a twist of, “You know how many times I told you to clean your room? You don’t have manners because you don’t listen!”

In conclusion, really, YOU CAN’T WIN!

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Sure but DON’T you dare defend yourself because that means you’re talking back. Which would also clarify what occurred before was, surely NOT, a conversation – rather a one-sided argument. Our parents are our teachers and also our disciplinary, romp smacking, fear thrilling, command offices.

Point is, respect them, just choose better words to save your hind.  Hehe. I can’t wait to be a parent, this is going to be so much fun lol

 

Shoot the Mirror

Why are we always defiling our human race with anger and excessive eagerness towards revenge? Not only has the subject of race defaced social living standards but it the afflicted our generations to come.

I don’t see COLOR! I see pain, hatred, aggression, ill minded, sorrowful, power leaching human beings.

Kanye West said, “We deal with racism because there are different races. The micro is that we focus on the races, as opposed to the macro, which is the human race. Part of the reason why [we’re] not allowed to be empowered is because of race, people’s perception of celebrity and [how] they present to young black men the idea of making it to the league or making to be a rapper but not the idea of becoming an owner. They would do anything they can to make it seem like a truthful idea, is a stupid idea or a crazy idea. Harriet Tubman said she could have saved many more [slaves] if they only knew they weren’t free. So don’t think that because of all our possessions that we’re free. It’s the mentally, the slave mentally. When we all eventually become slaves to our possessions. Slaves to that perception. Slaves to the idea of being cool. Our power, our oil, since we don’t own any oil, is our expression, is our influence. Don’t never let them take that away. And when we have the chance to express it and to influence, don’t only do it for us, do it for the human race.”

We can’t stand united if we all fight against each other. What are we truly fighting for? Power.