She is madness, sanity. She is hell, and paradise. 


s h e

Some days, she has no idea how she’ll do it.

But every single day, it still gets done.


N U M B e r 

‘Why do you change your number so often?’

It’s just a way of me letting go. Each change, people get left behind. 

‘What people? The ones that don’t exist.’

People nowadays are all about self. If I could take back parts of me I’ve given to people, I would in a heartbeat.  If it’s meant to be, they’ll find their ways back into my life. 


Cranes in the Sky

I tried to drink it away. 
I tried to put one in the air
. I tried to dance it away. 
I tried to change it with my hair

I ran my credit card bill up. Thought a new dress would make it better. 
I tried to work it away. 
But that just made me even sadder. I tried to keep myself busy. 
I ran around in circles
. Think I made myself dizzy. 
I slept it away, I sexed it away
. I read it away. I tried to run it away. 
Thought then my head be feeling clearer
. I traveled 70 states
. Thought moving round make me feel better. I tried to let go my lover. 
Thought if I was alone then maybe I could recover
. To write it away or cry it away. 
Don’t you cry baby. But it’s like cranes in the sky. 
Sometimes I don’t wanna feel those metal clouds
. Yeah, it’s like cranes in the sky
. Sometimes I don’t wanna feel those metal.



She searches for her abuser unconsciously in everyone she loves….maybe that’s why she stays when they deminish her character; pain is all she knows. 



Then I realized, we were no longer Merideth and Derek; vows on a piece of paper. We evolved. We fought. I broke. You gave up. Then a baby happened. Somehow I became April and you, Jackson. 

“At this moment there are six billion, five hundred and two million, eight hundred and sixty seven thousand, one hundred and twenty people in the world, give or take a few and sometimes all you need is one. For better or for worse.” 

I just want my bestfriend back. 


d a z e d



Sometimes it’s not the mouth that needs to speak, sometimes to hear the words, we just have to listen to each other’s heartbeats.



I visit memories like a stairwell in a highschool during bathroom breaks.