i feel those butterflies again…
but if i ought to be happy, why does this feel like sin?
i became the storm and as he clears my skies, it is i he calls “sunshine“.
told him, “i‘m broken but i’m ready to be fixed.”
told me, “that man doesn’t know what he’s missed. your soul is so pure and your heart is of gold, you are a Queen no matter what you’ve been told.”
told him, “sure, but i fear for me ‘love’ doesn’t exist. this feeling is unbearable, it’s too hard to dismiss.”
he smiled, as if he could seal the deal with an unsanctioned kiss, said, “i promise to be all that he couldn’t achieve – to save you, love you but you must have faith and remove yourself from this pain you grieve.”
and i believe him…
because i have to, cause i can’t have you but he’s no fool, God sent him as proof and he’s no you…
so i’m happy.
i think it’s important to realize you can miss something but not want it back.
that the last time was the last time…
no leaks in my heart, no cravings, no midnight cries for you to slow my panic attacks.
this time around i make vows to myself, to love me in all my forms, never forgetting who i am or what i want.
to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry me to the darkness, i will always find a way back to the light.
to trust in me but most importantly, trust in what feels right.