Once Upon a Time…

I sat in my chair at work and cried today. Silently allowing the tears to spring from my, once dry, eyes. Guess all these emotions started last night; after your phone went to voicemail for the second time. I realized how empty your promise was to me.

Four years.

1523 days
131,587,200 seconds
2,193,120 minutes
36,552 hours
1523 days

Ever thought to calculate how much time we’ve shared?

If that’s not sad enough, I broke down three times today. Once, when I sent a message blaming myself but not being able to blame you for leaving me. Second, having to take a break because you stopped texting me. Third, after ranting on to someone about how you made me an empty promise; one in which I can’t complain about because it’s either this or nothing at all. Or so you’ve said to threaten me…

Yes, I’m in my feelings.

Four years of knowing him, loving him, giving him all that I have to give, only for him to leave me to focus on him and his problems. To sort out his life and because he never has much problems or concerns, he never needs to talk to me about anything. Sounds fair, right?

Thought you we’re doing that with me, as a team. Now when I text you, even on your days off, you leave me hanging in the middle of conversations….but you’re here for me, right?

Soon this all won’t matter. I won’t care about you or this or remember that this ever existed. I won’t walk past a park and remember you watching me touch the skies on the swings. Won’t listen to a song and your face won’t appear. I won’t feel anything.

What hurts the most, the worst torment of it all is, I’d still try and by try, I mean I’d give my all…all over again.

Once upon a time, there was a sweet loving girl…whose hate never stopped beating.

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