Love Isn’t a Drug

It’s when I know I can’t call to hear your voice; I want to the most. When I know seeing your face or playing with you hair is no longer an option; my eyes begin to tear and my hands shake like an addict weaning off drugs. It’s not you I miss; it’s the idea of us being together. Our adventures, our play fights and petty arguments (most of which I started just for you to put me in my place). Girls like that sh*t.

What’s that saying about love? 
Love is not about staring at each other but about staring off in the same direction.”
 
Guess my eyes were fixated too close to home – you. While yours stared through vaults in banks and through the eyes of your future self – always a big dreamer. 
 
Nowadays, words are so toxic and deadly; people have trouble believing them, causing women to scorn love after a heartbreak.
 
Understand, I’mnot heartbroken. 
 
Just currently rocking in between the stages of forgiveness and fortune – letting go and moving on. 
 
At times I think of you in the vaguest ways; wondering what you’d be doing in that exact moment or if our telepathy was still in tack, and you were thinking about me too. Random thoughts. Unanswered questions. However, my own thoughts are fair game – I share them with the world every now and then. Just enough to have them understand my point of view, my reasonings.
 
In no way am I trying to make up for lost times or build with you another home on such a rocky foundation. It’s impossible to do so.
 
I’m just talking. 
 
In a few months, you’ll hear the news and you’ll either care or won’t. By that time, I would have washed my hands, made my bed in the new sheets I’d bought and had a grin so wide all my imperfections would be showing. Therefore, it wouldn’t matter. Just know, there were so many quotes I could have posted. So many things I could have said, after the fact, but I realized I had let go of you long before you asked me to. It never deemed on me how easy it may have appeared for you to end the whole thing. Bet you thought you had all the power. Sorry, but no. Some things are meant to end in ways you, as a person, just can’t end them.
 
Love isn’t a drug but it is an addiction. You weren’t my poison, just my lesson. 
 
So thank you. 
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