Dear No One

“I’m free,” I’d figure he’d say. Since it’s done and over.

I find myself evaluating all the men I come across to. Running checks down my “Best Candidate” list. Sadly, I currently look at men as heartbreakers. Shows how much of an effect he really had on my life. To me any guy who says, “hello,” will only manipulate another three years out my life. Ha. I’m just a girl lonely in love, trying to be loved by just the right guy. I’ve joined the club.

You know when you really have to sneeze. The build up makes you feel a little uneasy but a slight part of you enjoys it because you feel it coming. Then it happens – the sneeze. The exact moment after you feel free, relaxed and somehow a lot better than before the sneeze even occurred. Why can’t relationships end like that.

I just love “love”. All that love is made of and what it’s about; that’s why I can’t give up on finding it for myself.

Guess now I can those guys up on dates they kept asking me out on. Or not. Shrugs. 

I don’t know. I don’t want to be in a “lets hook up like teenagers and fake it to make it” relationship. I want to be in a long run, home hitting, relationship. One where our one only goal is to live happily ever after. I just can’t find a guy that interests me. Either they’re too childish, not ready, or they just can’t handle who am I.

I refuse to be afraid of love. My plan is to consume it where ever I can. Yes, I could choose to be alone but being alone is boring. So this is me breathing because at this point, I have to. Oh but when I find him, my him, he’ll be my world and I’ll enjoy every minute with him.

So for now, dear no one, cheers to our future.

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