Life is Not Worth Living

I remember believing I was in love with a person who, I thought then, could have been my world. Not because he could afford to give me every and anything my heart desired but he held a genuine part of who I believed myself to be at the time. Now that I look back and smile at all of which are now memories, feeling all of which are now jumbled emotions, I see how confused I was.

It’s funny when you take time to look back at things, realizing that so many things that once hurt now feel worthwhile. Now my masked delusions are legitimately understood.

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. – Kevyn Aucoin

There are so many things I can look back on and laugh at now; recollections that once brought only distressed tears. Not only has my life been placed in a state of insecurity but also the lives of those around me. Some of who had any idea whatsoever about the matter.

As long as I can recall, there was always love. Love as in:

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

At the depth of it all beyond broken smiles, there hung sadness.

In deep sadness there is no place for sentimentality.- William S. Burroughs 

However, the feeling of being lost and alone overwhelmed me like darkest overwhelmed the heart of the Devil.

I lost my sense of trust, honesty and compassion. I crashed down and became what I consider an emotional mess. I’ve never been so miserable in my whole life. I just wanted to go to bed and never get up. – Shania Twain

Though it all, I’ve gained a better prospective on life because this time around I’m surrounded by people who love and understand me. I’ve learned that the greatest treasures in life are not only the materialistic basis but to be able to love, laugh and be happy.

Without those three things, life is not worth living.


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