You can never resolve a situation by running away from it. You may be able to push it aside for a little while but sooner or later it will come back and haunt you for as long as it takes to make you face it. I’m a true believer and a live witness of just that.
Over my few short years of living, I’ve encountered many hurtful situations and problems that I found myself running away from. At the time of each situation, it was not that I could not resolve them but because I could not find the strength to do as I should have to conclude each and every one of them.
Think of it like this, on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy (Season 8, Episode 22), one of Arizona’s closest friends visited her with some bad news stating that he had a cancer tumor but he was ready to take it out through surgery. Arizona was filled with deep dreaded emotions; she was shocked, but more so scared for him and his situation and among other things, upset at him for not dealing with it sooner. I believe he told her that he knew of his illness for only a short amount of time, a few years, but in reality he knew of it for about 12 years if I’m not mistaken. Anyway, to make a long story short, it was far too late for him to come to her with his tumor because it turned out, it was inoperable and nothing more could be done to it. Therefore, he would soon die with no resolution.
My point is, I don’t want to wait for an inoperable tumor; I want to resolve and let go of all that I’ve kept inside for years because I want to be able to live a long clean life without having to wonder about who I may have hurt or what I could have done differently. I just wish you would understand me a little better to know that I didn’t do what I did for you, I did it for myself, for my peace, for my justice but it kills me to know that you took all the good out of what I did to only point out the bad.
In conclusion, what is there left to do but forgive. I want to believe that there is good left in this world and among the people I surround myself with. I want to be that person who makes the decisions every if it will make me look crazy, or laughed among or judged but in the end, I know that it is not them (people) that I am trying to live right for. That’s why now it’s so sad to have to come to this point, this decision, this conversation, this phrase, “we need to talk”.