I’m awake.
W i d e . A w a k e.
I feel alone but in tone with my inner being. A little psycho and grumpy because I’m hungry but mostly, I’m awake. I don’t know lol, it’s funny to me how the world can sleep around me while my mind plunges away into the world. I’m up thinking of ways to fall asleep, nothing works.
I yawn….but I’m still awake.
How selfish of me to call him asking for company only to get grumpily rejected by the guy who claims to love me more than life itself? That’s rhetorical.
I can hear cars break hard as they leap over the bump in the road that is clearly marked for assholes to see before they leap but hey who says those assholes can read.
I suck in my tummy and pray it stays flat with thoughts and hopes that I won’t die in the near future.
Crazy little me, is still awake.
My bestie calls after viewing an instagram post stating, “I always end up awake alone…I hate this.” She stays until her boyfriend calls and sends me back into the alone zone again. I just wish an electricity shock struck the body of the one I crave for so that he could revive from his deep slumber and accompany me.
Awake old me.
Awake old I.
Awake.
The phone rings…
He does love me!!!
Oh great, it’s not him, it’s her…my bestie again.
At least I’m not awake alone 🙂
A Heart That Never Stops Beating 
This song also has been the representation of my life for the past seven months.We were friend,but gave into feelings that we both could not deny. He has a loveless marriage. She stays for the money. Only reason he stays is his two boys. The youngest being three. I too have not reached the point of telling him to forget it. I love him very much and it is hard. I never imagined I would ever be in a relationship like this.