Find That Feeling

Am I losing touch with my inner me or are things in my life taking a toll on their own? 

It’s complicated; always is, always will be. Not life, but just the tasks within it. My emotions for people toss me around like a rag doll and the people I want to be noticed by seem to have an agenda of their own; one that does not involve me. Is it sad on my part or theirs? Does it even really matter. The word “love” states itself on my left hand ring finger as I try to live that word but as my days lengthen and my body weakens, I lose sight of the true meaning. 

Sometimes the girl that’s been there for everyone else needs someone to be there for her.

Whose there to notice? Everyone is all preoccupied with their own mishaps and life tolls and fail to realize that the girl who smiles holds a frown and walks alone. It’s funny to me, at least I find it funny, how the one person I talk to the most takes more time to listen and take everything in but still fails to hear what’s really being said. Shame. I said to him, “I feel like I’m losing a part of you.” Probably not those exact words but along those lines. I’ve just been working, this week coming will be more than the last but things just seem different. Ha. Oh and the person I want to talk to more has better things to do, better fitting people in his life and doesn’t even realize I’m here at times. Maybe it’s just me, silly little me. Or maybe, it’s them, preoccupied them. 

Whatever the case may be, I just want to feel it again. Whatever that feeling was before that has gone missing, I need to feel it again. 

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4 Comments

  1. This got me! Was looking for this feeling for a long time too!

  2. This still might sound a bit grand or preachy, so let me bring this down to an everyday level: is there anyone in your life who you hate or just can’t stand? Maybe someone who just irritates you to no end, who you resent and feel bitterness towards? And if so, are you proud of that? Does it make you happy?

    • Is there anyone in your life who you hate or just can’t stand? Maybe someone who just irritates you to no end, who you resent and feel bitterness towards?

      Yes, quite frankly, there is.

      And if so, are you proud of that? Does it make you happy?

      Happiness is not the word to place in this scenario.
      I do feel hate, I feel pain and I feel in-justified but only because I can not find happiness. This person is a per blockage, a hindrance and because of them I can not live life to my fullest.
      Am I proud? No. Like mentioned before, it is only a way of paying back all of which was given to me.
      It’s far too deep to understand.

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