I can’t talk about it but just know that it hurts. It hurts so bad that I can’t hold tears back or pretend that it’ll get better because it won’t. This feeling is coughing me, pulling me further into the darkness and into a uncomfortable state of mind. No one will understand because I can’t tell them the truth, not because its so drastic but simply because they wouldn’t understand how I managed to allow it to get this far. It’s like stage four cancer, this feeling is killing me all I want to do is cure it and become healthy again but its not that easy. Please forgive me. Forgive me for forcing you to watch me do this, I’m sorry for not telling you, I’m sorry for hurting alone but I can’t tell you.