Lately I’ve been feeling like a real outsider. Like all my friends that I thought I have or had in actuality aren’t friends at all but seasonal acquaintances. I feel I’ve drifted from reality, fallen behind the quota and fell to short to be noticed. It’s funny, the one person I didn’t think would notice, noticed I’m running from something. They said that the reason I mentally abuse myself is because I can’t face the truth or my past. It’s sad. It’s thanksgiving and I feel like what I can find to be thankful for seems to not amount to much. I wish my dad was here. I wish we had more company. I wish I didn’t feel so alone but I do. I feel like everyone is screaming in my head but they are speaking as calmly as ever. I just want to feel wanted again. I want to feel like I am someone important to someone but I don’t get that as much anymore and I guess it’s because I distance myself from society, too afraid of being emotion destructed. I can’t change the present only hope to live to see a better outcome.


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