Mixed Emotions

She hated missing him. She hated thinking about him. She hated all that there was to hate about him but all that she hated about him only caused her to think of the things that she didn’t hate before. All that she loved about him, his stupid jokes that always went too far. His stories that made no sense but made her laugh anyhow. She hated loving him because loving him got her to where she was today, in a puddle of hate. The thoughts of hating him only kept him alive for her. He was not fading but creating new memories in a gap she thought she closed permanently. Truth was, she just needed closure, she wanted him to hate her just as much. Really, she was only hated hating him because deep down she couldn’t stop loving him.

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