I’ll make words with my tears; speaking only what I feel and feeling only the truth of what’s within me. I’ve lost myself again, somewhere between now and before but I want her back, I need her. The feeling of brokenness hovers me, making it hard to breathe and sometimes makes me feel as if I should stop my breath altogether. My face is stained with dry tears and my head hurts from the effort of resisting the urge to let them fall. If you could read faces, you’d clearly read that today was not my day. I got tired of people asking me, “what’s wrong?”, “are you okay?”; knowing they knew what I didn’t want them to, I lied with a smile. I need you but I don’t want you because needing you means I’d want you to hold me and you can’t because you’re not here but the tears wont stop.
I don’t know where this story ends.
I just wish you could feel me within you.