Distance kills love, it doesn’t build it.
These last few days have been empty, cold and depressing. Feel like I lost apart of myself alongside a dark foggy road, knocked down and killed like a deer running towards headlights.
God knows I’m always in pain, sad, and unsettled but I can’t take the emptiness anymore.
Space is what people take when they are together but in my case “space” tangles itself between air, emptiness and an already broken heart.
Fuck it, I’m a sob story Its true, I have my days but my tears are all dried and I choose not to fear those who can hurt me because now I’m not afraid of dying.
These last few days I needed anyone, someone and when I got them, all I wanted was you. My stupid emotions pushed you away and I stood there alone bleeding out in front of strangers passing by, they who were too afraid to save me from dying. Truth is, we all deserve death but when will death deserve to take us?
I had this trip all planned out in my mind but it seems as if the enemy doesn’t want me happy because all odds are against me. I could sit and type for hours explaining each emotion that tells me to hurt and do things unlawfully but I listen to your taint voice that says, “I love you” knowing that if I close my eyes and imagine you here, it’ll be okay again but your voice is surely fading.
How is it that I can’t be alone anymore? That each time I’m not with you my being isn’t right. Why? What have you done to me?
I don’t want to go where I’m not welcome and by now you know that if I push and you push it’ll only kill this relationship.
I know you’re here with me but I feel as if I’m surrounded by millions of people who grab on to me trying to pull me away from you. You, who is lost in the midst, lose hold of my hand and let go.
I just don’t know. I want to be happy, need to be happy but without you I can never be there. The weather is wet and my eyes are dry so it’s as if the heavens are all crying for me, releasing all that my stubborn heart can’t.
In the end I’m still alone.