And here I am, pretending its all okay hoping that you would look behind the smiles and just see that I need you.

I’m cold, I mean my body has chill bumps running down ever angle of my skin and I’m cold. My nose is running and for some odd reason I think it’ll start bleeding but it doesn’t. My throat hurts and honestly I’m afraid to wake up in the morning to see its end result. My body is aching, literally causing me to cry out as I turn because my muscles are so sore. I’m unfocused and what I want to focus on is you but…well. . .

I need you.

Needed you.

This is why I don’t talk because when I open my mouth to speak, as words form into emotions, you don’t listen or you hear what only matters to you at the moment but you don’t sit to decipher what I’m really saying. I waste time smiling, in which I should be frowning because it’s the truth. The smiles, a lie.

But you don’t notice. Why? Because you don’t choose to practice your “commitment” of multitasking instead you yell, say mean things and expect that to make it better.

Fine. I’ll accept the silence.

I’m just cold, my nose is running, throat is getting sore, body aching and I thought I needed you.


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