I feel sick inside, trying so hard to make up my mind dealing with conflicting thoughts. Tears find no home near my eyes but I feel them itching to leak themselves out like flooded waters from an overflowing sink. He makes things better even after how our night unfolded. Seeing as how I can’t trust the girl within me, he asks me to stay with him, better yet, I ask him and without hesitation his chest becomes my pillow and his heartbeat my lullaby.

How can you love me and not fight to keep me?

A question I plead my insides to answer, I hide behind my eyes hoping my heart would speak the truth. What is this? A senseless war with my emotions and fears, hopes and dreams, present and future? Who is this girl staring back at me, her beauty unique but mind detached from her body when speaking to him.

Emotionally, I am screwed.

It feels like fighting to win but already winning, in my case, giving nothing hoping for the best; what is this?

Tomorrow I swear, this will be better for the sun shines in the morning washing all pain away, or so I hear. Ease me through this path oh God, lead me through this battle so I may not stumble and fall alone.


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