I miss him, although, these such feelings should not in presently felt, they settle in my thoughts. He chose to leave me, no, I forced him out my life. “I can read the signs,” he said, only to pretend to not know what he meant. His staying would only surface problems, my mouth spoke rejection as the lust from my heart urged for his departure.
What now? Continue to tell my sob story as I cry over spilled milk? No, I have to forget.
Forget I knew him before we were attached emotionally.
Forget he ever fell in love with me.
Forget I fell deeply in lust with him because love was never an option.
Forgetting his existent will be like pretending there isn’t a God. Impossible.
Love never dissolves like ice sitting in a cup on a warm day, it hangs on to your heart tugging along on a chain full of emotions. What freed guilt from my heart was the knowledge he possessed knowing my love was settling with another man. Although my heart rested with him, it awoke early to sneak away every single day to venture on to another heart. It was time for him to let me go. Facts hurt, reality stinks but the truth always sets us free. In memory of him, I will always leave a vacant room open for the past adventures we shared together, slowing closing his door to free room for my true love.
Lust buried, birthing love.