Selfish Love..Cure Me.

Today’s Horoissssh:

What you want most from another person is to be the center of their universe. You adore being the one who hands out the cookies and decides just how many are eaten. Today, however, you may be forced to acknowledge that you are not be the focus point of another person’s life, and that they have other interests apart from you, which you sorely need to accept.

Obviously I was bored again, funny enough, it was true.

This distance is killing me.

I thought this is what I wanted, what I searched for and finally found but it’s so much harder to deal with than I imagined.

Call me spoiled, selfish or even clingy but all I really want is a little more attention.

People repeatedly tell me how “pretty”, “beautiful” & “talented” I am and although it has meaning, it could never amount to the feeling I get when he says it. Even though, when he says it, I always deny it because I just don’t feel as if I am what I am; it just has a “ring” to it.

I honestly don’t know how long we’ll last, how far we’ll go or even if he’ll be the man I die with; all I know is love is hard to be with but it’s worth fighting for and I wouldn’t cheat on it for the world.

What if I’m not ready for this? I feel like a person contemplating on whether to have their organs donated after they die; a devastatingly hard decision that could only be resulted with more “pro’s” than “con’s”..

The one thing I don’t want to seem is “pushy”. No girlfriend wants to be crowned “clingy”. It’s just how life seems to play out, everyone gives me more attention than he does at times and my cries for attention only leave me with two-word text responses and a “I’ll call later love”.  Am I asking for too much?

What’s more equivalent than this because if this isn’t rock bottom, I hope someone can catch me before I hit it.

For the contrary, I bruise too easily.

The song below describes my exact feelings, word to word.

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6 Comments

  1. I speak from experience.

    My girlfriend and I have been together, on and off, 4 years, almost 5 years. When we first met I didn’t see her face for at least 3 months. Why? Her personality kept me around. But for about 2 months I kept my options open due to her unknown appearance. After a while I seen pics, which locked me in.

    We didn’t see each other until 2 years later. I broke up with her because of conspiracies… To this day I believe those conspiracies.

    Then I came back, then left again, due to different conspiracies that were actually wasn’t a conspiracy. But I passed all that.. Because I love her even though our distance is still very much a problem.

    But the point is… That after all our problems, and after all the distance, “I” still hung in there strong. No, I didn’t cheat, two wrong don’t make a right. I stood strong for the love I wanted so dearly. Which makes it ironic..

    • So if your really love this guy, you would hang in there no matter the obstacles. Even though.. Females do need attention in a certain type of manner. Which is usually the reason long distance doesn’t usually work. But it depends on the will and love in the woman.

      Remember that God will make a way when the time is right, that is what I ALWAYS kept in mind.

  2. That’s very sweet and more so romantic. Thank you for comment, I actually look forward to hearing of what you have to say lol. 🙂

    • Lol, I like reading your blogs. You write so well, its like I’m looking at my drawings. I also try to help, especially since there are so many people who just don’t care. I for one, haven’t lost my humanity 🙂

      • Wow. Thanks. I honestly think I write “okay” seeing how I really just vent what’s going on in my life but its good to know someone finds joy in reading anything I write.

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