What you want most from another person is to be the center of their universe. You adore being the one who hands out the cookies and decides just how many are eaten. Today, however, you may be forced to acknowledge that you are not be the focus point of another person’s life, and that they have other interests apart from you, which you sorely need to accept.
Obviously I was bored again, funny enough, it was true.
This distance is killing me.
I thought this is what I wanted, what I searched for and finally found but it’s so much harder to deal with than I imagined.
Call me spoiled, selfish or even clingy but all I really want is a little more attention.
People repeatedly tell me how “pretty”, “beautiful” & “talented” I am and although it has meaning, it could never amount to the feeling I get when he says it. Even though, when he says it, I always deny it because I just don’t feel as if I am what I am; it just has a “ring” to it.
I honestly don’t know how long we’ll last, how far we’ll go or even if he’ll be the man I die with; all I know is love is hard to be with but it’s worth fighting for and I wouldn’t cheat on it for the world.
What if I’m not ready for this? I feel like a person contemplating on whether to have their organs donated after they die; a devastatingly hard decision that could only be resulted with more “pro’s” than “con’s”..
The one thing I don’t want to seem is “pushy”. No girlfriend wants to be crowned “clingy”. It’s just how life seems to play out, everyone gives me more attention than he does at times and my cries for attention only leave me with two-word text responses and a “I’ll call later love”. Am I asking for too much?
What’s more equivalent than this because if this isn’t rock bottom, I hope someone can catch me before I hit it.
For the contrary, I bruise too easily.
The song below describes my exact feelings, word to word.