He was about to do it.
Walk into the middle of the busy street.
I was on my was to pick up my little sister at school. Exiting the neighborhood, about to make the left, i seen him. He was wearing a white t-shirt with black/gray pants and black shoes. Holding his right elbow with his left hand, head down ready to walk into the traffic.
I watched him.
At first, as I watched him, I was verily puzzled not knowing what his motive was.
He obviously looked down, depressed, on the brim of giving up.
The road was clearing, with no signs of cars behind me, I watched and waited.
It was as if he was contemplating it, wanting to do it but couldn’t image the outcome, even though initial motive was death.
The road cleared a second time and I had to go, my sister was waiting, in my heart I waited to stay, to say something, to pull him back but I couldn’t.
I didn’t know him, or his lifestyle, I just went off body language and instinct, nothing more.
As I pulled off, I immediately started to pray, asking God to have mercy on him and to give him a change of heart.
How could someone be so depressed to the point where they want to take their own life. Is it worth it?
Lately, I’ve been in his position; then again I can’t say “in his position” because I’m not too sure what position that may have been. Although, I have been feeling trapped, like I can’t escape from myself. Trapped in the world I created for myself in my mind.
The whole ride to my sister’s school, I feel depressed, sad and uncertain to what I may come home to.
The ride home was much worse, I felt intoxicated, my chest felt heavy. I was afraid but anxious to see if a body was laying in the lane.
No one was there. The guy had left and as if he wasnt there in the first place, I seen no sign of him around. As relieved as I felt, I still felt concerned, not knowing if he would go to the nearest bridge to jump.
Concerned about how his life at home was. Was he in school, if so was he being bullied? Was he homeless? These questions I could never ask because I don’t know him and may never see him again.
He will always remain in my thoughts and in my prayers..