Ever felt like you couldn’t escape from what suppose to be your escape? Like everything people told you about love didn’t exist because the simple joy that love should bring only resulted in a slap in the face or a push to the ground.
Well it wasn’t always like that; they have to whirl you in like a fish. Pulling you up from underneath the water slowly until you hit the air and then you struggle, finding it hard to breath, hard to run away, hard to escape.
At first the charm & his million dollar smile caught your eye and all you wanted was to be with him forever, to have and to hold, to love and to nurture. You begin to create a fantasy world, full of adventures, love, laughter, peace, just with him, only with him. Until he snaps.
You can never see it coming but you would always feel it, the stinging, the pain, so you scream but no one hears you. It hurts but he’s too intoxicated to care so he jokes about it and hurts you even more, enjoying your pain as if its his own little game.
You become afraid. Not knowing what to do or say, afraid to be seen by the world even though physical scars weren’t visible because he knew how to leave his mark without them. You couldn’t breathe too loud, speak too loud, look too happy, look too sad, you couldn’t express yourself freely around him.
He watched you, had people watch you so you wouldn’t try to escape, try to run for help & so young, you wouldn’t dare to try, so you obeyed. You learned obedience, self control, you learned to cover up the truth, afraid of what blow to your head would come from each angle. You were trapped.
It didn’t matter to them because they’d always said “Sorry” with the charm and the million dollar smile you fell in love with & again being naive you’d believe it. You stepped back in after you walked halfway through the door, finally making your voice heard but you realize you’d miss his company. Looking deeper inside him, finding his soft features, his loving tone, his soothing touch. You gave him the benefit of the doubt. Until you snap.
You regret taking him back, the pattern only continued but deep in your heart you still envisioned the charm, the smile. Its your time to fight, you take him at his low point, when he’s weak and unstable, in his sleep. You release your inner demons, you fight for freedom.
And you win.
And its over.
And you escape.
Never looking back, never venting to the world about what occurred. You let go.
Never to be trapped in love again.
Inspired by the Song Love The Way You Lie by Eminem.